Oliver (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
reflectinglight) wrote2021-07-26 05:22 am
reflectinglight) wrote2021-07-26 05:22 am
Sometimes, our own thoughts really aren't enough...
He remembers his first day well enough...
When he felt the figurative shackles of the Player pin, that eventually bound him to another Player. He remembers enduring that Game, fighting his way through to the end. He remembers winning back what he lost, only to discover he came out of it with more than just his entry fee. That swell of power that became a new figurative shackle, something that bound him to far more than just another person.
He remembers meeting the sun and the earth. He remembers not liking either, at first, because they reminded him a lot of what he was bound to. But, even more than that, he didn't like feeling so drawn to the earth, so outshone by the sun. It was a lot to deal with; he never asked for any of it. Oliver remembers all of that, yes, but his strongest memories rest beyond all of those things.
The older he gets, in fact, the less he can remember the early days...
In fact, his clearest memories start just a few hundred years ago. During that time, he and Rìzhào (as he'd begun to call him) had started to get along much better. Something that proved to help Oliver most after Kasumi completely shut himself away, no longer allowing even a brief visit.
One hundred years of adjusting to never seeing Kasumi seemed to stretch on, but Rìzhào helped. Even when Oliver could tell something... something wasn't right, he had the company of the sun. He tried to help the sun.
He remembers the feeling that came with learning just how far from 'enough' he really was. And he remembers the feeling of those lips against his quickly overrun by the feeling that came with holding that too-still form in his arms. The feeling of helplessness as the sun was carted off to the Palace.
Just how long has it been...?
Strange how he can't remember.
When he felt the figurative shackles of the Player pin, that eventually bound him to another Player. He remembers enduring that Game, fighting his way through to the end. He remembers winning back what he lost, only to discover he came out of it with more than just his entry fee. That swell of power that became a new figurative shackle, something that bound him to far more than just another person.
He remembers meeting the sun and the earth. He remembers not liking either, at first, because they reminded him a lot of what he was bound to. But, even more than that, he didn't like feeling so drawn to the earth, so outshone by the sun. It was a lot to deal with; he never asked for any of it. Oliver remembers all of that, yes, but his strongest memories rest beyond all of those things.
The older he gets, in fact, the less he can remember the early days...
In fact, his clearest memories start just a few hundred years ago. During that time, he and Rìzhào (as he'd begun to call him) had started to get along much better. Something that proved to help Oliver most after Kasumi completely shut himself away, no longer allowing even a brief visit.
One hundred years of adjusting to never seeing Kasumi seemed to stretch on, but Rìzhào helped. Even when Oliver could tell something... something wasn't right, he had the company of the sun. He tried to help the sun.
He remembers the feeling that came with learning just how far from 'enough' he really was. And he remembers the feeling of those lips against his quickly overrun by the feeling that came with holding that too-still form in his arms. The feeling of helplessness as the sun was carted off to the Palace.
Just how long has it been...?
Strange how he can't remember.